


Your Light

by wolfgun



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Freeform, M/M, Yes it Is, and then this shit happens, isnt this my second killua reflection excerpt?, killua reflects on gon, this fucking manga is too damn poetic for a pathetic hopeless soul like me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-16
Updated: 2015-03-16
Packaged: 2018-03-18 02:16:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3552290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfgun/pseuds/wolfgun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It paves the way ahead of me; illuminates my path. Call me blinded? No, I'm just... struck.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your Light

In the beginning, there was only darkness.

My soul bathed in it, soaked it up; my entire existence confined to the underworld and all the dirt that inhabits it. The soles of my victims tracked mud into my mind; their blood that spattered weighed tons upon my skin.

My sickly, bleached skin—discolored by my family’s will.

I thought, in my entire being, that it would always be this way. I would forever be shrouded in darkness, in this impenetrable bubble that had been built around me since my youth. This thick fog that had seeped into my head would never clear away, and I believed it to be my destiny to walk this thorned path alone.

And then, in a moment of clarity; I ran.

In my troubled times, I had never even considered that something could pull me out of that place. My own reverie, while I know will not completely fade, grew a lot brighter when I met him.

Gradually, I learned to stand on my own; to defy the powers that bound me; I dared to question what was thrust before me.

It was as if, with only a smile and an outstretched hand, this person had blown my from my old self and forced me into a new existence. And when my mind broke through the fog, my eyes were able to see all that I had not before.

Killua the assassin was no more; and though I had decided that fact before, it became all the more real when he had stepped into view.

Gon is… the light; he is the one who brought the sun to my eternal night, and after him, the stars just fell in place. Even though the night is still present, the path before me is now not so dull and pitched; I can see the ground my feet land on and the things that surround me.

But just as his light illuminated my way; at times the gloom threatened me. In these times, it was simply too hard to look at him, and I had to tear my gaze away.

I feel as if I am unworthy.

Coming from the background that I do; I know I am tainted. There isn’t anything that I can do to change the past; but maybe, with Gon’s help, I can manipulate my future. There will be no higher authority to tell me what I will or won't do, and only I will guide myself into the next year.

Despite the blood on my hands, I want to be close to Gon. I want to continue to feel his warmth; I want this light to never fade. I know eventually we’ll have to part ways; but by that point I’ll have learned to run on my own two feet. But even so… right now…

Gon... Can I still… stay by your side?

**Author's Note:**

> What? What is this??? 
> 
> I'm full of big words and bullshit. As I figured out yesterday; I am pathetically poetic.  
> It's a stain upon my soul. 
> 
> Loosely based upon [this.](http://neoroxas.tumblr.com/post/113732061415)


End file.
